Mad Animal Monkey Sex Your Place Or Mine?
by Gerkyhen
Summary: Mei was like a God at pretending not to be sexually attracted to other team mates that weren't D'jok. Crack. MicroMei.


Mad Animal Monkey Sex Your Place Or Mine?

* * *

><p><em>So, um, before you start reading this I feel I should warn you it is extremely tongue in cheek. Crackalicious. I hope you manage to enjoy the foolishness!<br>_

* * *

><p>Whoever thought it was a good idea to let Micro-Ice attend a fashion show was a fool. A fool that, if Mei ever got her hands on them, would most probably end up being strangled to death with their own eyeballs.<p>

The brunette was trying to **model**, but how could she do that, when, at every jolt of the hip and cheeky wink, Micro-Ice would catcall or cheer loudly?

She appreciated his support and -she wasn't going to lie- she had been craving some male attention lately (because God knows D'jok hadn't been giving her anything due to his fetish for anything football or Sinedd. God, how come it was that bloody Shadow player keeping her boyfriend up all night and not her?), but still, there was an assigned etiquette to these things. An etiquette  
>that Micro-Ice was most definitely disrupting with his cheers. Why was he even here?<p>

Mei figured he was probably here with one of the other models. Who was it? Mei could probably hazard a guess. Probably Sandra...she was such a slut, especially when it came to footballers. God, if Mei had a credit for every time Sandra had turned up all late and bedraggled due to late night escapades with footballers, she'd be substantially richer, and Mei Kilas was definitely not **not** rich.

Anyway, why was all of this going through her head? She was supposed to be strutting her stuff!

With this in mind, Mei began stomping the runway with new purpose, a flirty smile on her face as she strode.

"Woo! Go on Mei! You look hot! You always do, but tonight, you especially do!"

Ugh Micro-Ice again. As Mei turned, she saw him out of the corner of her eye, and, yeah, he was making a spectacle of himself, but didn't he look totally cute in that little suit of his? He had the bow tie and everything.

Oh** crap**, who was that next to him? Mei had to stop herself gasping as she took in the fact that prominent fashion designer Sylvester Mckenzie was there, seated next to her vocal team mate.

The female Snowkid resisted face palming herself. Her mother had been pushing for her to try and get her daughter signed for the Mckenzie line for years, and now Micro-Ice had destroyed that chance with one single fell blow of loud encouragement.

Mei sighed as she departed from the runway, and entered the craziness that was backstage.

"Mei, Mei! Come on, hair and make-up darling. SOMEBODY FETCH MEI'S NEXT OUTFIT NOW. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?"

Mei allowed herself to be ushered into a seat in front of a mirror, and she sat complacently as stylists buzzed around her.

"So Mei, who's the cutey calling for you out there?"

Sandra. Mei flicked her eyes to the side to see Sandra sitting at the next styling station along, allowing a make-up artist to artfully apply red lipstick to her huge, pouting lips.

"Oh. Hi Sandra." Mei didn't even attempt to hide the disdain in her voice.

"Cuz, he's not like, D'jok, is he? Because last time I checked D'jok was a total ginge," Sandra burst out laughing at this before suddenly resuming calm as some stylists began tugging at her hair. "Totally hot though. So is that little guy out there not your boyfriend? I'd like to jump his bones. He looks totally innocent. Is he a footballer? Ooh," The woman wriggled in her seat. "I'd get on that."

Mei sat stiffly throughout her fellow model's monologue, a feeling of iciness taking over her at Sandra's words. Mei had always felt slightly protective of Micro-Ice and the way Sandra was talking about him made her blood curdle. Yes, curdle. Even if, maybe, perhaps, she sorta had been thinking the same thing about jumping Micro-Ice, but it had only been for like a second and that meant it didn't count as imaginary cheating. Something she had accused D'jok of, multiple times.

But oh God was Mei willing to let Sandra ride Micro-Ice like a train? But did she even have a say in this? Because Mei was going out with D'jok and Micro-Ice could sleep with who he wanted because Mei wasn't his **mum **or anything and, neither, was she his girlfriend, or his sister, or his bodyguard or even like his best friend. Yeah, so why did Mei feel like she had a say in it?

She didn't want Micro-Ice to get hurt though, and Sandra was definitely the type of person to hurt him, because, of course, Micro-Ice was known for falling in love with one glance, so that didn't bode well. While Mei thought all this through, Sandra continued yapping, and Mei ignored her, because that was what you did with Sandra, you ignore her, because otherwise she ate your soul and harvested your brain...or something like that.

"Hey Mei!"

And, oh shit, he was backstage. And how had he got the opportunity to get better looking in the short span of time since she'd last seen him?

As Micro-Ice approached, Sandra initiated predator mode.

"Oh, hey Micro-Ice," Mei was like a God at pretending not to be sexually attracted to other team mates that weren't D'jok, because she played football with Rocket for God's sake and no one could tell that half the time she was thinking about all the different ways she could mount that dread-locked bastard. "Enjoying the show?"

But why was Micro-Ice suddenly so hot? Why was he doing this? Ugh. Mei hated him.

"Yeah!" Micro-Ice nodded enthusiastically, and did he **have** to lean against the dressing table in front of her? Because it looked way too sexy to be believable, and Mei wanted to eat his face. "It's awesome. You look completely amazing up there Mei."

Oh God, he was blushing, and now Mei wanted to die. Die or pinch his cheeks...and that didn't necessarily mean his **face**cheeks.

She faked a small, tinkling laugh - relishing the fact that even though he was supposed to be over her, he was so NOT, and that was good because, obviously, D'jok was going to leave her for Sinedd soon- and then cocked her head at him.

"Thank you Micro," she smiled. "You look totally cute yourself. Did you pick that outfit out yourself?"

Micro-Ice blushed even harder and shook his head. "Dame Simbai told me what to wear."

It was like God had purposefully sent him there to wreck Mei and D'jok's relationship. Mei had to change the subject because otherwise she was going to burst into tears because of the inevitable fact that she wanted to 'tap that'.

"How come you're here anyway?" time to resist sounding jealous. "Did you come here with anyone?" except that sounded like an interrogation type question.

Micro-Ice, who was looking around the room, and at the various models, with utter awe, looked back to Mei and, looking confused, shook his head.

"Who would I be here with?" he questioned. "Nah. I just remembered you telling us all about your fashion show so I booked myself a ticket." he casted Mei a vibrant smile.

"Oh, that's so cute." Sandra cooed and Mei turned to her, a look that so clearly said: '_Back off bitch, he is mine, he is my boyfriend's best friend, and my fellow team mate, but I don't care about that anymore because I just want to marry him and bear his children_' upon her face.

Sandra raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

"That's...that's really sweet Micro-Ice. Thank you." Mei said.

And hadn't Micro-Ice always been this sweet? So why was she with D'jok again? Mei had had feelings for both of the guys, but it had just felt...RIGHT to choose D'jok over Micro-Ice, but now she'd had time to look at it properly, and she and D'jok were out of the honeymoon -or the having rough, passionate sex everyday-phase now and she was seeing that maybe D'jok was too similar to her (and maybe a little too in love with his rival for her tastes) and maybe Mei really wanted Micro-Ice, but she'd been too afraid of saying it, because Mei liked feeling protected and she wasn't sure if she'd get that with Micro-Ice and so she'd chosen D'jok.

But D'jok was, most assuredly, having sex with Sinedd, somewhere right now. And that was what motivated Mei to stand up, bat all the little stylists away and say: "Micro-Ice, I think I fancy you."

Micro-Ice's smile dropped immediately, and he gazed at his teammate in surprise.

"Wow. How primary schoolish." Sandra commented.

Mei just ignored her, and didn't punch her out, and, instead, just continued looking at Micro-Ice, praying for a good response.

"You...you what?" he eventually replied.

"I fancy you."

"But you're with D'jok!"

"I know."

"My best friend."

"Yes,"

There was a short pause and then Mei spoke once again.

"But I don't want to be with him, and I know it's selfish, and I wrecked my chance with you by picking him, but I thought I may as well tell you."

"Yeah...uh...that makes sense," Micro-Ice agreed, he looked sheepish before glancing up at her. "Can I...can I ask how long?"

"Well I think for a while," Mei answered honestly. God this was surreal. Like a crazy dream. "Things sorta calmed down between me and D'jok and it's like the mist faded and I've realised we're not right for one another. Plus, I'm sure he's boning Sinedd."

"Sinedd?" Micro-Ice repeated in shock, before smiling. "No. Sinedd and D'jok hate each other."

"This isn't about Sinedd and D'jok!" Mei retorted, not happy that her conspiracy theory was being picked on. "Look, I'm not telling you this to make you uncomfortable or to make you suddenly fancy me again, it's just so you know-"

"'Again'?" Micro-Ice interrupted. "Who said I ever stopped?"

Mei paused and she looked into Micro-Ice's big, innocent blue eyes.

"D'jok and Sinedd are sleeping together." he stated it very quickly, but Mei caught it and she smiled triumphantly.

"Yes! I knew it!" she cheered.

"So...Mei,"

Mei looked to Micro-Ice and he looked totally sheepish, and Mei should probably have been back on the cat walk like an hour ago, but nobody seemed to care because they all wanted to know what was going to happen.

"What happens now?" Micro-Ice asked.

Mei got up from her chair and stepped forward, and it was cute how much taller she was than Micro-Ice, especially in heels. She leant in close so that their noses touched and her warm breath fanned over his face  
>as she spoke.<p>

"Whatever you want." she answered...while thinking: _Sex. All the way.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>It seems that I have gone mad and I have produced something utterly odd. I hope you didn't hate it. I know it was totally weird. <em>


End file.
